Halloween has always been the most elaborately celebrated holiday in the Hughet household. As a kid, spooky meant fun, so my dad went to enormous lengths to turn our house and yard into well... a graveyard, a ghost house, a witch's lair, a mummy's tomb... you name it, and it was at the Hughet house. I loved everything about it. With the protection of my father, it wasn't scary, it was a thrill! Now, as an adult, my bitesize apartment doesn't necessarily accomodate the undead crawling out of the ground or motion-activated coffins that open to reveal dracula ready to suck your blood... turns out they don't go with my decor. That being said, I've been forced to find another outlet for my love of fright night.
Three years ago, I heard about auditions for haunted house dancers. What?! Two of my favorite things combined?! You're telling me I get to dress up as a flesh-eating zombie and pop and lock while unsuspecting folk watch wide-eyed in sheer fear? YUP! Sign me up! My theory has always been, if you can't beat the zombies, join them, so for three years now, I've auditioned for and joined The Haunt's hip hop dance team.
As a Haunt dancer, I will "greet" you as you walk into the house. I will tick, tut, and crump into a demonic trance, and you will not be able to take your eyes off of me... because if you do for even 1 second, it's likely I'll end up beside you... a little too close for comfort. Bwhahahaha! Can you tell it's a bit of a power trip? Call me insane, but there is something so overwhelmingly satisfying about creeping you the eff out, about making you tingle in fear and excitement. Okay... weirded out yet? In all seriousness, October has become my favorite month because I've been given the unique opportunity to dance at The Haunt. Trust me, you will NOT find something this cool, this electrifying at any other haunted house. The Haunt gives you the full monty, minus the nudity.
Having been a member of the undead crew for a few years now, it never occurred to me to actually go through The Haunt's five attractions. Yeah, nope... I do the scaring. I'm not about to have anything chase me through the dark... I am not a fast runner. BUT, upon further review, I realized it was something I had to do. I love Halloween. I love a good scare. I said to myself, "Nicole, it's time to woman-up and see all of the reasons why The Haunt was voted Michigan's scariest haunted house. And gurl, leave the heels at home... wear your combat boots."
Internio Mike, my Morning After co-host, went with me. (There is no way in hell I was going to do it alone.) Despite our obvious debilitating fear, we did it! We ventured in and did it all - the haunted house, The Dark Maze Reborn, Terror Town 3D, After Midnight, and Monster Paintball. It was, by far, one of the most exhilerating things I have ever done. Ironically, I left The Haunt feeling so ALIVE!
The haunted house in and of itself is like stepping into a different world! It's unbelievably real. The monsters come to life; they talk to you! They tell you how they'd like to cook you for dinner and why you shouldn't run from the psycho with the chainsaw... he's simply trying to make a skin suit.
Terror Town 3D is literally three-dimensional. You'll be handed 3D glasses by a freaky ass clown as you head in. Once inside, you can't tell what's an optical illusion and what's really coming at you. Clowns don't typically scare me, but oooohhh shoooot... these clowns... whoa! Even their makeup is 3D, meaning their mouths appear to be jutting at you. It's wild! Terror Town 3D is one of the coolest places you will ever find yourself, but do be aware that you may be eaten by a clown... worth the risk, trust me!
There is no doubt that after braving the cannibalistic clowns and getting lost... yes, definitely lost... in The Dark Maze, you'll be a little tense. You'll definitely want to let off some steam, so why not play some paintball? MONSTER PAINTBALL!
New this year to The Haunt, is Monster Paintball, and gurl, let me tell you... I have never felt so empowered. Haha! You will find yourself face to face with a field full of zombies, and your mission is to TAKE THEM DOWN with paintballs. You'll be given a fully loaded gun to go totally cray on some zombie ass... a once in a lifetime (hopefully) opportunity!
Enough said, right?! Get to The Haunt this Halloween season. You'll have so much fun and leave with so many "killer" stories to tell your friends. Go online, choose your date, and get your Speed Pass. Trust me... get the Speed Pass... you'll get to skip the long lines and get right to peeing your pants in fear. Hehe ;)
2070 Waldorf St. NW - Grand Rapids, MI 49544
Get TICKETS here: the-haunt.com
I'll see you at The Haunt, but you probably won't see me... at least not until it's too late.