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I never thought I'd have to issue this warning, because it SEEMS like common sense. But here you go: If you walk past a snowman this winter, no matter HOW sexy it is, you should NOT have sex with it.
Last week, 64-year-old Kenneth Guillespie of Darwen, Lancashire, England was walking down the street drunk, when he spotted a snowman. And he carved himself a little hole in that snowman, so he could have sex with it.
By the time he was done, the five-foot snowman was basically destroyed . . . and Kenneth was screaming in agony. Because he'd gotten FROSTBITE ON HIS JUNK.
According to the hospital where he was treated, there's a chance that Kenneth's junk may have to be amputated, but so far, quote, "[he] is still in one piece."
He's not facing any criminal charges.